More than a feeling
by BellaMioneBlack
Summary: first fan fic. Eventual CS pairing, its more bout their relationshp with each other andseeing how they would cope with their intense feelings for each other
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:  The characters belong to CSB and the Bruckheimer people.

A/N: Just a few things before you read on. This is my very first fanfic

so people please be gentle lol the Sara point of view at the

beginning is set in the present day and she is recalling to the

events leading up to this moment. Just in case it wasn't clear lol

anyway thanks and please R&R

* * *

Sara - Stepping out onto the balcony, the warm sun gracing my face, I

don't think I've ever been this happy in my life and I was there to

share my happiness with her. Her arms wrapped round my

waist, her head on my shoulders, she the pulled me closer to

her, I could feel every inch of her body. I smiled and closed my

eyes, I slowly traced the back of her hands with my fingers and

we gently intertwined our fingers. I felt her warm lips pressing to

the back of my neck. I still can't believe that I've fallen in love

with the most gorgeous woman and I've even took vacation

days to be with her.

* * *

"Goddammit Catherine! Why the hell did you do that? It was my case!" Sara screamed

"You were getting far too involved Sara, you nearly took his head off with a chair! What on earth possessed you to do that?" Catherine shouted back

"He deserved it! He is the scum of the earth, he was beating up his wife to the point of death and he was showing no remorse!"

"Go home Sara! You're no use to us like this!"

Sara was surprised by Catherine's tone even though it wasn't the first time they've had arguments, Sara slumped into a chair, her head in her hands. Catherine sighed and sat next to Sara, the more experienced CSI put her hand on Sara's arm, Sara winced as soon as she felt Catherine's touch.

Catherine said in a low voice "Sara, I'm sorry but you're getting too involved and Gil's not here so I have to do what I see fit. Hell, I've been there myself, there's not one person in the lab who hasn't got personally involved"

Sara nodded, still holding her head, she really wanted to take Catherine's hand and tell her how she feels but she had to fight hard to fight her feelings. _'I wish she would take her hand off me, I wish I could tell her how I really feel about her' _Sara looked into the older CSI's eyes, _god, her eyes are so beautiful, they showed care and concern but also showed a vulnerable side at the same time. _Sara quickly looked away. "Thanks Catherine, this case was getting to me _(you don't say (!)) _I'm sorry"

Catherine was still looking at Sara even after Sara lost eye contact with her but she could have sworn that she saw something in Sara's eyes but couldn't pin down what it was.

Catherine realised she still left her hand lingering on Sara's arm. Her eyes travelled down Sara's lean body, from her neck to her hands. _'So beautiful and I won't even get to touch it'_ Catherine was worried about Sara, it wasn't just the trouble with the suspects, she noticed that the younger CSI was not sleeping and was coming into work in the same clothes from the night before and they were arguing even more.

She wanted to be friends with the volatile CSI, wishing that it could be more...

"Catherine?"

Catherine looked up to find Sara looking at her, "Yeah?"

"I'm just saying sorry and erm...I need to go and see Hodges, he's got the results of the DNA samples" Sara got up and walked out of the office.

"Okay but please go home and get some rest..."Catherine shouted but it was too late. Catherine sighed _'What am I going to do?'_

Nick laughed gleefully as Warrick handed over a hundred bucks, "Told you it was true man! You should always listen to Nick!" Warrick just ignored him and shouted Catherine over.

"Hey, what we working today?"

"When is Grissom coming back from the conference?" Nick asked

"Why? Am I not doing a good enough job for you?" Catherine smiled and continued "Warrick, you've got a decomp torso out in Henderson, Nick you're with Greg and you've got a robbery with two vics and I'll be in the office" Nick groaned, he always got stuck with Greg.

Warrick took the chance to laugh at Nick's misfortune, "Hey Nick, $100 says I get mines done before you" came the response "double it and it's on"

Catherine just rolled her eyes, she turned and saw Sara walking in. Sara smiled. Catherine pulled her into the break room. "Nice to see that you're in a happier mood than yesterday"

Sara grinned "Look, about that, I'm sorry, it just...guys like that make me so angry"

Catherine just held up her hand, "It's okay, I had Brass on damage control duty. There was a condition though...you have to stop interviewing suspects for a while and you have to work in the lab"

"Okay" Sara shrugged, she then proceeded to say something but changed her mind. She smiled at the blonde and started to walk off to the lab.

"Erm...if you ever need to talk, I'm always here, you know that don't you?"

"Yeah, I know" Sara disappeared into the lab

Catherine was surprised that Sara didn't put up a fight like she usually does, in a way she's almost giving up? She wasn't sure how but she certainly was going to find out... Later that night Catherine scrolled down to a name on her cell and lifts the phone to her ear and after a while hung up. She smiled to herself...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI otherwise I would be a very rich woman but I do own this story but not the characters lol

A/N: Thanks for the reviews :o)

OrangeThunder: Yes I'm glad i finally got a move on lol hopefully my writing will get better with time and chapters :o)

Kirky123: Heres my updated chapter...Enjoy

* * *

More than a feeling 

Chapter Two 

Catherine - As I watched her lay there, I remember her asking me about why I didn't tell her how I felt, I guess I was afraid of getting rejected by such a gorgeous woman who could have her pick of guys...or girls for that matter but it was me she fell for. I couldn't feel any happier than I am right now just watching her sleep. I watched the moonlight cover the whole room and saw it enhance her features. She stirred and eventually got up, she came over to the chair I was sitting in and knelt in front of me. She held my face in my hands, she started to kiss my neck, moving slowly up to my lips. I sat back and let her take me.

* * *

Sara looked up from the microscope and started to rub her neck, she couldn't concentrate on her work when all she can think about is Ms Catherine Willows and her goddamn mesmerising smile _'Shit! I have to stop thinking about her, she's not interested in girls let alone a mind fuck like me' _Sara sighed and started on the paperwork when Greg came in. 

"Sara, did you match the bullets and will you out for a drink?"

"They don't match and I will go for a drink but not with you Sanders" Sara giggled

"Ah right, well I'm not giving up even if I have to stalk you..."

"Careful Sanders, I just might end up throwing a chair at you" Sara smiled

"Gotcha, right I've got fingerprints for you to process and I'll see you for that drink later." Greg threw down a bunch of brown packets onto the table and left before Sara had a chance to process what he had said.

_'Damn that Sanders, now I have to go' _Sara let out a deep breath, she looks at the packets and the paperwork. _'Great! I'm going to be here all night and I won't get to see Catherine tonight!' _The dark haired beauty then started on the paperwork and was secretly looking forward to having that drink...even if it's with Greg Sanders.

* * *

Catherine felt better after talking to her sister who was looking after Lindsey. Her sister was shocked to say the least after the blonde told her about Sara. 

"Hey sis, I love you to bits and if you like her then so be it, I mean if you're happy then I'm happy"

"I'm not even sure Sara's into girls never mind some CSI who's past it..."

"You're not past it Cath! Just go and talk it out"

"I can't put our working relationship at risk, not when we're beginning to get along again"

"Again? Were you not getting on before?"

"I've blamed her so much for Eddie's case and she got suspended...because of me"

"Oh Cath...you're going to have to talk to her one way or another...Lindsey Willows! Give that back to your cousin!"

"Sounds like she's giving you the run around" Catherine chuckled

"Like mother, like daughter"

"Hey! That's not fair...I better get off cos I've got a million and one things to do and you better sort out that daughter of mine" Catherine hung up then smiling to herself. She stopped smiling when she saw the paperwork looming

* * *

"The Wii system is so cool! It's way better than the Playstations! The very first console I had was...am I boring you?" Greg noticing Sara was snatching yawns. 

"Nuh-uh, I'm just tired after all the fingerprints you made me process"

"We've only just arrived and we haven't had our drinks yet"

Sara saw that Greg was visibly disappointed "I'll make it up to you...i promise" Sara patted Greg's shoulder and turned on her heels to the exit. When she got to her car, she realised that she left her cell phone in the locker room. Sara got into her car and drive back to the lab.

* * *

The blonde bombshell was coming out of her office when she saw that Sara was going into the locker room, 'should I or shouldn't I?' Catherine groaned in frustration, she really liked Sara but doesn't want to put her heart on the line in case it got stampeded on. She was now standing in front of the locker room and also was standing in front of the exit…should she follow her heart and tell Sara how she feels or follow her head and walk out of her life forever…?

* * *

Hey guys, let me know what you think i should get Catherine to do and see if you're right? 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or the characters otherwise I would not be stuck in rainy Scotland lol

A/N: Thanks for the suggestions and reviews from you guys

_KangarooV5: You're getting interested in the CathSara saga aren't ya lol dont you deny it lol_

_OrangeThunder: Hurry home lol Sorry but you're going to have to kick my arse after you read this lol_

_lovecatsara4ever: thanks for the suggestions, i'm taking everything on board, i'm hoping to be a better writer and hopefully all you guys can help me :o)_

One week later

Grissom is sitting in his office reading his monthly Entomologist magazine and drinking his much needed morning shot. He had a lot on his plate what with one CSI down. The most experienced CSI had only been gone four days and Grissom had missed her more than he cared to admit. He heard a cough and looked up quickly, he saw Sara standing in front of his desk. She looked pale and withdrawn, far from the Sara he knew.

"You wanted to speak to me?"

"Please sit"

Sara sits nervously, Grissom looks at her over his glasses.

"Is everything okay with you? You seem preoccupied even more than usual...don't get me wrong, it's not affecting your work but whatever it is. You have to sort it before it does."

"Everything's fine, I've just been thinking a lot you know and it doesn't exactly help that Catherine's gone gallivanting, we're totally backed up"

"Well, Catherine's due back from Portland in a few days so things should get back to normal when she gets in"

'_If only he knew' _Sara thought

"Hey Gris, We've got a double murder out in the desert, we need everyone we can use...even Sanders!" Warrick chuckled but stopped when he saw Grissom's face. "Yeah, erm...I'm just going to go with Nick, see you there"

"Is there anything else Sara?" Grissom was greeted with a no and left the room.

'_Why did Catherine have to leave? I need her here'_ Sara muttered to herself angrily as she followed Grissom

* * *

Greg Sanders was standing photographing a body of a man in his mid 30s while Sara was checking the perimeter of the house. Nick and Warrick were upstairs in the master bedroom with a second body. Grissom and Brass were interviewing the two survivors, 14 year old Jonnie and 9 year old Michael.

"Did you hear anything? A struggle?" Brass asked

Grissom watched the younger boy's behaviour, not to mention that the boy was covered in blood spatter and noticed that there was dirt on Jonnie's shoes.

"No, we just heard two loud bangs and a thump then we ran for help" Jonnie put his arms around a crying Michael.

"Brass" Grissom then lowers his voice, "there's something going on and I'm going to find out what it is"

* * *

Next morning

"Sara, just got word from Cath, she's coming in tonight instead of tomorrow"

Sara watched Grissom walking up to her with a copy of the medical examiner's report. Sara had to contain her excitement at Grissom's news.

"That's good, er, is that the ME's report?"

"Yeah, it seems that the mother was suffocated first then shot and the father was shot shortly afterwards."

"Doesn't make sense...we didn't find a gun anywhere and there was no evidence pointing to a break-in and why would you suffocate then shoot but not do the same to the other?"

"Maybe the plan went wrong, just because you can't find the gun doesn't mean that it's not there, it's somewhere where you can't see it..." Grissom begins to walk away

"Hmmm, I'll get on to it...and hey, I'm glad she's coming back"

"So am I, believe me" Grissom smirked

Sara didn't like the sound of that, it made her even more nervous, seeing Catherine again, She smiled to herself and made up her mind to tell the older blonde how she really feels.

* * *

"Cath! Nice to see you back" Nick hugged Catherine

"Hows it hanging?" Warrick punched Catherine's arm playfully

"I've only been gone 5 days but nice to see that I'm appreciated!" she laughed.

Catherine saw Sara coming her way, she shouted her over but Sara just ignored her, the blonde felt really hurt. _'I thought the break apart would have done us some good but obviously not, I feel like giving up which is hard to do when all I want to do is kiss her but that can't happen...not since...that phone call from Gil'_

"Don't take it personally Cath, it's this case we're on, it's hit her pretty hard" said Nick

"Look guys, I'm sorry but I have to be at court, Nick will explain the case" Warrick hurried out of the building.

"Is this the case with the two brothers? Grissom told me about that last night"

"Yeah, the younger brother confessed half an hour ago, he's with his brother just now"

'_I didn't mean to do it, I was so angry at Mom and Dad for sending Jonnie away, I'm really sorry. I overheard them one night arguing about him, he's not my real brother, and he was adopted before I was born. I told Jonnie and he went complete wacko, smashed our bedroom up. Mom and Dad threatened that this was the last time and that he was gonna be sent away! He was really bad before but not anymore, I don't care if he's not my real brother, he's the only one who looks after me" _What about the gun? _'That was my dad's, he hid it in the closet in his study downstairs, I was so mad at her, I was gonna shoot her but didn't want to hurt her so I put the pillow over her face but then dad woke up, I panicked, I shot at him but hit my mom instead, he ran after me, I ran downstairs with the gun but fell over and that's when I shot him' Michael started to cry. _Who hid the gun Michael? _'Jonnie saw me shooting my dad and I begged him to help him, it wasn't his fault, he wanted to help me so we dug the gun'_

"I guess that's brotherly love for you" said Catherine.

"Yeah, listen, can you have a word with Sara, I'm worried about her"

"Me too Nick...me too" Catherine smiled at Nick

* * *

Grissom was studying one his 'specimens' under the microscope when Catherine came up behind him.

"Ew, I don't know how you can do that?"

"You're back, we all missed you _(especially me)'_

"Yeah it was nice to have a few days with just me and Linds, even though it wasn't much of a break"

"You could have had longer?"

"Linds wanted to get back for an audition for the school play...kids eh?"

Grissom smiled, he took off his glasses and sat on the edge of his desk.

"Look Cath, about what I said to you the other night? I er...meant what I said"

The blonde stayed silent while Grissom looked at her expectantly. Grissom got off his desk and moved closer to Catherine. Catherine gulped nervously. He leant in and kissed her gently.

Sara gasped, she could not believe what she was seeing. The object of her affections and Grissom kissing? Sara ignored Greg's shouts as she ran out of the building, tears rolling down her cheeks... will Catherine ever love her back?


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or the characters or i will be living in a nice big mansion other than livingin rainy scotland lol

A/N: Thanks for the positive review guys :o) I mst thank the following...My cans of Irn-Bru for keeping me awake and to OrangeThunder for not kicking my arse lol I'm going through a rough time atm so i apologise if this chapter is not as good as the other chapters. Just found out that my ex's mum died so had a few things on my mind...but whatever you do, please be honestaboutthis chapter :o) Thanks guys

* * *

'_Stop crying! God what's wrong with me? Why did she have to go and kiss him? She deserves better...like me...well looks like that's not going happen now is it' _Sara wiped away her tears angrily with the back of her hand

"What's going on? I was shouting on you' Greg ran up behind Sara, he put his hand on her shoulder and turned her round, "Did something happen to you?"

"No, I'm good, everything just got a bit much for me" Sara lied

"You sure? I'm here if you ever need to talk..."

Sara flashed Greg one of her _'infamous'_ smiles "Thanks, I'll be okay" Sara grabbed Greg's arm, "actually are you free tomorrow after shift?"

"Uh, think so, why..."

"As if you have to ask Sanders, you and I are going out for dinner"

"Whoa, really? You're not just yanking my chain?"

"Nope, it's my way of saying sorry for leaving you the other night"

Okay sure, coming inside?"

Sara smiled, she couldn't help but feel guilty, Sara just wants to make Catherine see how much she needs her even though she genuinely likes Greg but in her heart, it's really Catherine she wants.

* * *

Grissom and Catherine are standing in Grissom's office looking at each other in silence.

"Gil, what were you doing?"

"Thought that was obvious? Look Cath, I've been feeling this way for quite sometime. I missed you when you were in Portland"

"Oh...Gil, I went to Portland to get somebody out of my head, I've explained this over the phone"

"I know you did, so has it worked?"

Catherine looked confused "Oh right, I had other stuff to think about namely Linds"

"How is she?"

"Besides being a surly teenager? It was clear that she didn't want to be there, I knew it would be hard but it was like that we didn't know each other at all, we were just two strangers in a room" Catherine broke down in tears.

Grissom enveloped her in an embrace "Don't worry, I'm here" They stayed in a hug for sometime then Catherine slowly pulled away, she caught her breath and smiled at Grissom. Grissom wiped her tears away with his thumb, Catherine stepped back from his touch.

"Want to go for dinner?"

Catherine nodded which made Grissom smile. Grissom frowns at something across his office. "I think Hodges wants you, must have the results back"

Catherine laughed and left the office. She looked over at Sara who was talking to Greg, Catherine grew jealous each and every time she saw Sara touching Greg's arm, she hated being jealous and she also hated the fact that Sara might never love her back...

* * *

"Table for two"

"Name"

"Grissom"

"Mr and Mrs Grissom, please come this way"

"No...You've got..." Catherine protested but the host was too far in front to hear her

The host led them to a secluded candlelit table near the back, they ordered two glasses of red wine. Catherine looked round nervously.

"Ashamed to be seen out with your boss?" Grissom smirked at Catherine's face

"Course not, it's just that I don't want anyone from the lab to get the wrong idea, I mean the candles, wine, everything screams _'Date!'_

"Well, do you want it to be?" Grissom then raised his eyebrow

Catherine started spluttering on her mouthful of wine. Grissom started laughing.

"Gil! It's not funny!" Catherine starts to laugh as well, they were beginning to get looks from the other diners. "Tell me about that conference you're going to tomorrow..."

* * *

Sara walked into the restaurant with Greg, the host led them to a table at the window near the back.

"Oh my...Greg hide"

Greg looked confused as he sat down "I'll hide behind that plant and you can hide under the table"

Sara glowered at Greg and pointed behind his shoulder.

"Grissom and Catherine are on a date?" whispered Sara

"Table near the back...candles and wine...yeah pretty it's pretty much a date"

'_What does he have that I don't? Actually, don't answer that... god Catherine looks so beautiful'_

Greg snapped his fingers in front of her face, bringing Sara out of her trance.

"Yeah sorry, uh...what you having ..." Sara smiled

* * *

2 days later

"Sara, what the hell is the matter with you?" Catherine followed Sara to the locker room, Sara promptly ignored her.

"Nothing is wrong with me" Sara then turned her attention to her locker

"What gave you the right to go off at me like that, especially in front of our colleagues!"

Sara looked at Catherine and sighed, the blonde just groaned and stomped off.

'_I'm a freaking idiot! Why did I have to go and make fucking stupid remarks about her and Grissom? I've lost her for sure now'_ Sara sat down and cradled her head in her hands.

"_I can't believe Sara said those things about me and Gil! What fucking possessed her to do that! Does she really think that little of me? Wait a minute…why does she care so much about me and Gil when she's 'with' Sanders?'_ Catherine got into her jeep and headed off to a crime scene.

When she arrived at the Grissom scene, she saw Brass walking up to her.

"What's going on?"

"Not sure, the neighbours heard gunshots and they called us. We also found 100K worth of cocaine. I'll get Grissom to send over another CSI, you need all the help you can get"

"Yeah okay" Catherine nodded, _'Please don't send Sara, I've handled enough of her for one day'_

Catherine walked into the house and to take photographs of the bodies and worked her way up the house. She went into one of the back bedrooms. She looked into the closet, her phone started to ring, she glanced at the display _'Great…it's Sara'_

"Hey, I'm on my way over, Grissom sent me"

Catherine saw a small brown box and started to open it "Yeah, Brass mentioned something bout sending for more help" Catherine saw inside the box and gasped, "Whoa Sidle, you have got to see this!"

"What is it?"

The blonde heard a noise, she turned round and received a blow to the head. She dropped her phone.

"Catherine! You there? Shit!" Sara threw down her phone onto the passenger seat and gunned it to the scene.

Will she make it in time to save the true love of her life?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to upload chater 5 but had a bad bout of writers block and had other stuff on my plate. hope you like this chapter :os lol anyway please R&R

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

* * *

"All I see is black, all this rage building up inside me, I might as well be someone else, and all this rage…this isn't who I am.

Instead of blood, ice runs through my veins,

Instead of colour, I see in black and white

I don't know right from wrong

Voices invade my head, poisoning my mind

with their thoughts.

I watched her walk in to the room, her beautiful face frowning as she goes over to the closet _'Shit, hope she doesn't see the box'_, she opens the closet and sees the box. Her beautiful supple and thin body bends down, she answers her phone and at the same time opens the box. "Whoa Sidle, you have got to see this!"

'_Fuck!'_ I quickly moved towards her with the gun in my hand, I then bring down the butt of the gun on to her head. I smiled as I heard the sickening thud of her body hitting the floor.

I lifted her body over my shoulder and made my way out of the back, I shoved her into the trunk of my SUV, I looked round making sure nobody saw me _'Thank fuck we're out of the city or I'd be in serious deep shit' _she couldn't keep her fucking nose out, all the cops are the same, stupid filthy pigs. They think they're better than us mere mortals, just wait till they see that I've got one of their own, then we'll see who's laughing now...

I licked my lips as I saw her come to, blood running down the side of her face. Blindfolded and tied up, her hands tied to the arms of the chair...just how I like my women to be. Maybe it's the way they look helpless, begging for someone to save them, their hearts beating faster, the smell of their fear lingers in the air, sweat pouring down on their cheeks, the desperate clawing at the ropes with their fingers.

You know what really gets me? They don't fucking understand how I feel, it's the rage that makes me do this to them, I...I don't mean to do it, they deserve it, yeah they do deserve to be here. They're not angels, not fucking one of them... all women are animals.

Catherine groaned, "Where am I?"

"Details, details, what matters is that you couldn't keep your nose out of my business"

"There will be people looking for me, they sure as hell won't give up until they get you" Catherine spat the words out

I just walked over to her, slapped her cheek hard with the back of my hand until I saw blood appearing on her lips, I chuckled wryly, I glanced at her nametag. 'Hm...nice to have met you Ms Willows...or is it Mrs?"

"You bastard, I have done nothing to you...now let me go" Catherine spat out the blood

I bent down low enough that she could feel my breath upon her face and laughed, "You're wrong there Willows, you have done something...you became one of them..."

"One of who?" Catherine felt dizzy, she knew that she needed help and fast _'Just when I need Sidle, she's not there"_

"Don't you fucking pretend that you don't know!" I slapped her again, I enjoyed seeing her blood coming out of her mouth, the blood pumping her sins away, ridding of all the cop filth.

"But I don't know what you're talking about!" Catherine is shouting now

"Lying through your teeth, you're all the same ain't ya? Well, what did I expect?" I slammed my fists down onto her arms, she yelled out in pain. "You go sticking your nose where it ain't your business"

"It's my job..." Catherine gulped in air to help the pain

I laughed, "Whatever you say, Ms Willows" I stood back up and walked back out of the room.

'_Shitting bastard! I've never done anything to deserve this! God! What bout Lindsey? Is she okay, I need to get out of here!'_ Catherine clawed at the ropes with her fingers, tears staining her face.

* * *

Next Day

'_I hope Linds is okay, I bet mom will give me hell for not getting in touch...if...no I mean when I get out of here, I'm going to tell Sara just how much I love her' _Catherine groaned in pain, she hated him for making her feel like this.

'_Well, well, looks like Ms Willows is still hanging in there...' _I walked up to her, I can smell her fear, her hatred... I held up a glass of water for her to drink but she wouldn't drink it, I grabbed her hair and pulled her head back"drink it!" she just spat in my face, I threw the contents of the glass in her face. _'If that's the thanks I get...' _

"Bastard..." Catherine muttered

I bent down low enough that she could feel my breath on her face "What was that?" She said nothing, I stroked her cheek and I laughed seeing her turn away at my touch. I heard a faint noise out the back _'Probably just a stupid dog or something...' _but then I heard whispering...'_this shouldn't be...how the fuck did they find me?' _I grabbed my gun but before I could pull it out of the holster. A woman kicked down the door and fired.

Sara ran over to Catherine, pulled off the blindfold and untied her. Sara pulled Catherine up gently and embraced her.

"Oh my god, I thought you weren't going to find me" Catherine sobbed

Sara looked into Catherine's eyes, "I would never give up on you, you know that" and at that moment they both knew their true feelings for each other. Catherine put her head on Sara's shoulder and closed her eyes.

Catherine smiled and lifted her eyelids, she saw his hand holding the gun and he was pointing the gun at Sara, in a split second, she pushed Sara away, he fired and Catherine fell to her knees clutching her side.

Sara looked into his eyes and lifted her gun and fired into his chest, 'That's for hurting her and that's for trying to kill me' and she fired again. She ran back to Catherine and held her. She screamed into her radio "Officer down..." she stroked the fallen blonde's hair, "You're going to be alright Cath..."

"That's the first time you've called me Cath in a long time" she laughed

"Help will be here soon, hang on" Sara then whispered in Catherine's ear "I love you"

Catherine fell back into Sara's arms and lost consciousness...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has left reviews for this story, also i must thank my nice bottle of Irn Bru lol lovely sweet Irn Bru lol anyway... please R & R or else i'll never write again lol**

**Disclaimer: See chapter 1**

* * *

"Shit! This hurts like hell!" Catherine clutched her side as she sat down, she then picked up a wine bottle and poured two glasses

"Serves you right for saving my life" Sara smirked, picking up her glass and sat next to the blonde who was rolling her eyes.

"I just didn't want you to get hurt...I couldn't imagine something happened to you" Catherine lowered her head to avoid looking at Sara

Sat put her and Catherine's glasses down onto the table, she then moved closer. Sara held the blonde's hand in her own.

"When I found you in that chair...I really hated him for taking you away and I hated him even more for hurting you. When you got shot, I was so scared of losing you' Sara's tears started rolling down her cheeks, she felt Catherine's free hand cradling her cheek and her thumb was wiping the tears away.

"I've...er...wanted to tell you so many times about how I felt" Catherine pulled her hands away

"So why didn't you? If you liked me then what was that date with Grissom about?" Sara frowned

"You were there?"

"I was with Greg and I saw you two together...you had the wine...candles...even the table in the back..."

Catherine started to laugh "That wasn't a date! Gil just got the wrong idea, he wanted it more than I did...anyway what about you and Greg? Or were you just trying to make me jealous?" Catherine saw Sara's frown turning into a 'guilty as hell' grin. The blonde giggled and picked up her glass and lifted it to her lips.

Sara suddenly grabbed Catherine's glass and placed it onto the table for the second time that evening, Sara lifted Catherine's bewildered face to hers and gently pressed her lips against the blonde's soft lips. Catherine slightly opened her lips and then she pulled away.

"What's wrong?" Sara thought she saw a glint of uncertainty in the older blonde's eyes, "I shouldn't have done that! I'm sorry!"

Sara got up, grabbed her jacket and left before Catherine could say anything. Catherine opened and closed her mouth in a bout of confusion.

'_Dammit Sara! You always have to jump to conclusions, I was only going to say that Lindsey was coming home soon and didn't want her to catch us making out in the living room and suggest that we moved upstairs...Great! Now she's going to avoid me in the lab...fan-fricking-tastic!'_ Catherine sighed and swallowed the contents of her glass.

----------

'_I'm an idiot! Running out like that! She's going to think I'm a freak! What's the matter with me?' _Sara at that point was banging her head into the steering wheel of her car, _'No doubt she will be avoiding me today...good work Sara (!)'_

Sara hesitantly got out of the car and took a deep breath before entering the offending looming building that was in her thoughts _'Thank god she's not in the field for a while or else I'm screwed' _

'Sara...Sorry did I make you jump? I need your help in the lab, we're two techs down, Archie is on vacation and Wendy is off sick, Nick and Greg are working on a Murder/Suicide and Warrick is working a break-in" Grissom walked up behind Sara.

"Do I have to stay here? I mean does Warrick need help, I'm happy to help him out" Sara said quickly

Grissom looked at Sara with a raised eyebrow, "He's coming back here in 10 minutes, which is why I asked you to stay here..." Grissom disappeared round the corner, he then came back to face Sara, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, just wanted something 'fun' to do" Sara then bit her lip

"Erm...okay if you're sure, I have to go, waiting on a specimen to arrive...come by if you need to talk" Grissom smiled "Watch out for the boxes, Sara" and then walked off

'Is it just me or is he getting weirder everyday? I suspect it's the latter...' Sara turned and saw Hodges talking to Catherine, 'Shit! Move before she catches you looking!' Sara made a beeline for one of the labs, falling over the boxes that was littering the corridor, _'So much for the warning Grissom!'_

----------

'_That's strange, didn't I just see Sara standing there a few seconds ago'_ Realisation just hit the older CSI, _'She's avoiding me I bet...and what was that noise?' _Catherine muttered under her breath

"What did you just say?" Hodges asked

"I was just wondering what that noise was, and erm... can you put a rush on these?" The blonde handed over the necessary documents over to the lab tech and added "If you see Sara, tell her to come and see me please?"

"Tell her yourself, she's working in the lab, we're two techs down, and you might have to wait for the results for a while...we're pretty much backed up"

Catherine frowned and walked off to her office

----------

"Do you think there's something is going on between them?" Nick asked Warrick

"Between who?" Greg just walked into the conversation; he sat down, his back facing the door and facing Nick and Warrick.

"Cath and Sara...I mean they're always fighting and I can feel the sexual tension between them, it's very intense..." Warrick chuckled

"Really? Just because they fight doesn't mean that they want to get together" Greg smiled

"Dude... you fight when you really like someone because you're afraid that they will reject so you take the anger out on them..." Nick rolled his eyes as if to say_ 'Isn't it obvious'_

"Yeah whatever but isn't Cath getting it on with Grissom?" Greg grinned, possessing the upper hand of inside knowledge

"Since when?" Nick sat up quickly and leant towards Greg

'Me and Sara saw them at the restaurant we were at"

"Whoa Dude, I don't believe that" Warrick laughed

"What don't you believe? The part of Cath and Gris on a date or Sanders and Sara on a date" Nick high fived Warrick

"Very funny guys, Cath and Gris were getting pretty cosy..."

"Nah man! Catherine and Gris! Nah..." Warrick shook his head in disbelief

"Now that I think about it...Sara kept staring at Catherine and talking to herself about how it wasn't right..." Greg drummed his fingers on the table

'Sucks man! Nothing worse than your date pining for another woman especially if it's Catherine" Nick laughed loudly but stopped when he saw Greg's face but grinned at Warrick

"What is that supposed to mean?" Greg snapped

"Have you seen Catherine? No one can hold a candle to Catherine, she's just Catherine..." Warrick smirked

"Thank you for clarifying that for me Warrick (!)" Greg sighed

"Care to make this interesting?" Nick rubbed his hands together

Warrick nodded, they both looked at a dejected Greg who shrugged "Whatever"

"Thataboy! Ssh, Cath's coming in..." Warrick nodded towards the door

"Guys...haven't you somewhere to be?" The experienced CSI looked round

"Did you switch bodies with Grissom?" Nick asked then coughed when he caught Catherine's glare

"I need to speak to Sara, she has some results for me...Nick, and I'll need to speak to you later about the thing..." Warrick backed out of the break room careful not to look at Catherine.

"Uh...yeah Greg we need to do that thing..."

"You guys are being weird... although I don't know why that surprises me" the blonde watched Nick and Greg make a hasty retreat from Catherine.

"Men!" She shrugged and followed them out.

----------

Nick saw Sara coming towards him, 'Perfect timing!' he then shouted Sara over.

"What's up?"

"Just the person I need to see, I need your help with a sound tape"

"Yep no problem" Sara smiled

Meanwhile in the A/V room, Catherine was sitting in front of the computer, trying to pick out the sounds from the tape. Warrick was looking through the blinds of the door and saw Nick with Sara.

"Did you not hear that? Sounds like a gunshot in the background" asked Warrick

"No, I can't hear anything" The blonde frowned

At that moment Sara walked in, Warrick slipped out from behind her and locked the door. He and Nick roared with laughter and high fived each other.

"Warrick Brown and Nick Stokes! Unlock this door now" Sara yelled. She hit the door with her fist in frustration, she then turned to a bemused Catherine and giggled nervously...

_How is shy, introvert Sara Sidle going to cope being locked up with sexy outgoing Catherine Willows?_

_

* * *

_

**Let me know if i should carry on or just leave it at this? lol **


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

A/N: thanks to OrangeThunder for betaing this story and giving me the thumbs up hehe and again thanks to my can of Irn-Bru for keeping me awake :o) also thanks to people who have added me to story alert or author alert and for giving me lovely reviews :o)

* * *

Sara's point of view

I gulped uneasily when I glanced at Catherine's confused face but then she started to smile, she then got off the chair and walked slowly towards me flashing that _'devil may care' _grin of hers. _'Dammit Cath! I hate it when you do that... it makes me feel that I can agree to anything... just try not to look at her directly'_ I then tried to make eye contact with anything but her.

"What's wrong Sidle? Are you scared that big bad Catherine will do something to ya while we're locked up or perhaps you don't trust yourself with me?" Catherine's voice in a low sexy drawl.

My mouth dropped open in amazement as she walked even closer to me, I cleared my throat. "Nothing is wrong, I just needed to get back to the lab...you know what Grissom is like..." I laughed nervously. _'Wow...I've never seen Catherine like this before'_

I was staring at the floor but out of the corner of my eye, I saw her moving forward and I stepped to the side and didn't see the table that sent me flying to the floor with a loud thump, "I'm okay" I whimpered at the thought of my pride suffering. _'I am soo going to kill Nick and Warrick for this!'_

"Aw! Look at your face Sidle, anyone would think that you were afraid of me" Catherine giggled and held out her hand. "Come on...I won't bite" Catherine flashed _'that'_ smile again.

I grabbed her hand and pulled myself up, still blushing redder than scarlet, she couldn't stop laughing, she quickly bit her lip once she caught one of my glares.

"Look I'm sorry about the other day..."

"You know that you have got to stop jumping to conclusions or at least stop the macho act!" Catherine crossed her arms, facing me.

"What macho act? You don't understand me, no one does!"

"You run away every time things get tough or square up to everyone which alienates them even more, I think you're just scared of actually letting someone see the real you and that's why you end up pushing us away!"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, I just don't get why people feel the need to know what makes me tick, you...Grissom, the whole lot of them...guess what...maybe I just don't want to open up."

'_What the hell is she doing? Is she trying to confuse me, her coming on to me and now this?'_ I turned away from her, fighting back the tears as images from my childhood flashed before my eyes _'Oh god I don't need this now!''_ I felt Catherine put her hand on my shoulder but I just pushed it away.

"Come on Sara, what do you want me to do?"

"Nothing..."

"You're going to end up very lonely if you don't talk to your own team..."

"Why do you care so much about me opening up?"

"Because I'm...your colleague and I...love you, I just don't want to see you hurt."

I sighed and put my forehead to the wall _'She loves me, what does that mean? Love me in a friendly way or...? She doesn't know just how much she's screwing with my head'._

"Whatever..."

"Honey, I thought we were getting on and what happened to the Sara that was in my house the other day?"

"I don't know, I wanted to do more than kiss you but I thought you didn't want to..."

"I did want to...I was just afraid that Lindsey would see us."

"You ashamed to be seen with me or something?" I knew exactly why she was afraid but for some reason I just wanted to take out the anger I had bottled up inside on her...

"Of course not! But you have to know that I've had it up to here now, all I've tried to do is to be your friend, I've risked my life to save yours but no...that isn't enough for you. As a matter of fact, I'm going to share something with you...You are just too much..."

I turned round sharply, "Go on, finish what you were saying," I shouted, "And I'll tell you the real truth to what people think of you"

"I didn't need that but yeah I will finish, you're too much of a liability, a loose cannon...you're a good CSI but that means jack shit when you're out of a job for only being able to open up to a bottle of JD!"

"That was below the belt, low blow...even for you." I welled up and felt a desire to lash out. I turned and punched the wall with my fist with every ounce of my anger, I felt the blood trickling down between my knuckles.

"Are you okay?" Catherine rushed forward

"I've heard what you've had to say and now you're going to listen to me. You always use your sexuality to get what you want just like earlier, fair enough I nearly bought it but I've seen what you're like and so has everyone else...you're just an aging blonde bimbo who has opened her legs to half of the guys in Las Vegas for all I know"

I received a hard stinging slap across my cheek, I looked at Catherine and I saw that there were tears in her blue eyes "Cath...I'm ..."

She just shook her head and looked away "There was no need for that and you know it"

I just opened and closed my mouth, I avoided her glassy blue eyes, "Yes I have a problem but it's my problem, no-one else's, you didn't need to throw that in my face"

"You needed to hear it, you're too stupid to listen otherwise"

"I'll kill whoever said that sharing your feelings was good for you" I lifted my cell and dialled Nick's number.

"Nick, you better unlock this door or I'll kick it down!"

"Sara...I'm..." Catherine lifted her hand but then put it by her side

"Save it, you don't know anything about me"

"What about us?"

"There never was an us...you made sure of that..." I heard the door unlocking, I pushed my way past Nick, I stopped when Catherine said my name, walking up to me and Nick.

"Sara, no...It was you that made sure of that" Catherine pushed me aside and walked off.

Nick looked at me then looked down to my hand and gave me a questioning look.

I sighed, "Don't even ask..."

----------

**Will Catherine forgive and forget? Will they ever have the guts to show each other how they feel?**

----------

Please review this chapter and I will post Catherine's Point of View up soon, if any of you guys have any ideas on how Catherine's Point of View should start, just let me know, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as you liked the others and don't worry I will get them together...well eventually lol


	8. Chapter 8

Catherine's Point of View

"Sara...no it was you that made sure of that" I pushed her aside and headed towards my office. I resisted the temptation to look over my shoulder. I sighed, really not wanting to cry in the hallway especially in front of her. _'Why does this keep happening to us? Everytime we get that bit closer to each other, we always manage to find a way to fuck things up. How dare she say those things about me... I thought she liked me...Sara Sidle, you will be the death of me'_

I slammed the door loud enough so the lab would know not to disturb me...the nearby ones anyway. I sat in my chair and put on my favourite song of the moment

_**I'm so close to you baby**_

_**But I'm so far away**_

_**There's a silence between us**_

_**And there's so much to say**_

_**You're my strength, you're my weakness**_

_**You're my faith, you're my doubt**_

_**We gotta meet in the middle**_

_**To work this thing out**_

_**More love, I can hear our hearts crying**_

_**More love, I know that's all we need**_

_**More love, to flow between us**_

_**If there's ever an answer**_

_**It's more love**_

_**We're afraid of being idle**_

_**So we fill up the days**_

_**We run on the treadmill**_

_**Keep slavin' away till there's no time for talkin'**_

_**About trouble in mind**_

_**And all the doors are all closed**_

_**Between your heart and mine**_

"Are you trying to say something?" After no answer, I switched it off and then groaned when I looked up at the clock, _'Only 5 hours left then I can curl up in my bed, gorging myself on Ben & Jerry's watching some chick flick'_. I closed my eyes and slowly banged my head on the table, hoping to have some sense knocked into me. I opened my eyes at the sound of a knock on my door.

"Come in" I watched Nick sit down opposite me

"Hey Cath, I just wanted to say sorry for that prank that we pulled on you and Sara" Nick nervously flashed his Texan smile, "We didn't know it was gonna kick off like that"

"It's okay, it was bound to happen sooner or later...you know what we're like...I just wish she just stop being so godammed..." I covered my face with my hands.

"She'll get over it..." Nick lifted my hands away and held them in his, "She will see the real truth in time"

"What truth and what happens if she doesn't, I'll have to get a transfer or quit!"

"Chill, you're in love with each other, if I can see it then she will too...and you're going nowhere...I'll make sure of that" Nick leant forward to hug me.

"What if she doesn't? Oh my god then I will end up marrying Gil!" Her eyes shot to the ground and she couldn't seem to look him in the eyes. They both knew that things would never go as far as they were setting them up to be, but the pain she felt at that moment in time was one cold enough to bear false witness to her words...

"You won't, trust me" Nick chuckled to himself quietly "See you later Cath, hang in there"

'_I'm going to have to do something about this...She's the only one for me but I'll never forget what she said'_

----------

Three weeks later

'_I've not seen Sara for a while, I bet she's switched with day shift just to avoid me...that really hurts me...to have someone say these things to me and then not having the balls to stick around to look me in the eye'_

"Hey Gil, what you got for me?" He gave me a slip of paper with his handwriting on it

"A suicide, you have Greg...Nick and Warrick are out working on a drive-by" Grissom turned to go but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back

"Where's Sara? Is she on day shift?"

Grissom took off his glasses and looked at me, "Catherine, did she not tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"You don't know...God I'm sorry Cath but she went back to her old precinct in San Francisco. She left two weeks ago"

"She never said anything to me..." I leant back against the wall and choked back a tear.

"Sorry, I assumed that she did...I mean she spoke to...oh..."

'_Great...that makes me feel so much better...she says bye to everyone but me? I know we've had our ups and downs but after 7 years of working together...I'm not worth a goodbye?'_

I turned to leave when I felt Grissom's hand on my shoulder but I just shrugged it off. "Sorry Gil, I have...erm...to go..."I didn't look at him, I just carried on walking. _'She's a fucking coward...she'd rather run away than to face up to things? Well this time there's no running away'_ All the anger and hurt I've been carrying around since that night disappeared and determination has taken their place...I dialled Nancy's number, "Hey I need a favour...a big one..."

----------

I nervously cracked my knuckles as I waited for my bag to come on to the conveyor belt. _'God, what if she never talks to me...what if they refuse to tell me where she is? Calm down Willows...'_ As soon as I saw my bag, I grabbed it and pushed through the crowd to get to the taxi rank. After I told the driver the address, I sat back and rubbed the side of my head where I received a blow from an elderly woman with a very heavy bag when I tried to steal her taxi, _'It'll all be worth it just to see her again'_

I found myself standing outside the police building, working up the courage to go inside when I saw her leaning against the hood of her car with a group of cops. I took a deep breath and walked over to her. Her jaw hit the floor when she laid eyes on me.

We just looked into each other's eyes, and we just knew what we had to do...she grabbed my bag and quickly muttered "see you later guys" to her friends. I got into the passenger seat while she shoved the bag into the trunk, she then got into the car. We said nothing the whole ride to her apartment.

----------

I watched her beautiful slender form slump back against the wall, _'I love the way a lock of her hair just falls across her face, I love it even more when she blows it away from her face' _Finally we locked eyes, blue eyes melting against dark chocolate eyes...

"Ahem" Hearing her voice snapped me out of my trance, she smiled, "You were staring..."

"Sorry..." I folded my arms across my chest

"So, why are you here?"

"Do I need a reason?" I laughed

"You came all this way, just for no reason?" She raised an eyebrow

"Okay, hows this for a reason..." I closed the distance between us, she nervously moved towards me. I grabbed the waist of her jacket and pulled her even closer, I leant in and brushed my lips against hers, running my tongue along her top lip, she moaned softly. I took a step backwards but she put her hands on my waist and started to kiss my neck, I put my hands on her shoulders to stop her.

"What's wrong?"

"We really do have to talk" I mumbled

She took my hand in hers and led me to the couch where we sat facing each other. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes. I could feel her intertwine her fingers with mines, I opened my eyes to see her staring at me.

"Well..."

"I won't deny that you've hurt me that night, things were said but what really hurt me is that you chose to be a coward rather than to face up to them..."

"I'm sor..." My free hand covered Sara's mouth to stop her interrupting

"Please let me finish then you can say whatever you want to say" I took my hand away, "When Gil told me that you were gone, I just couldn't understand why you felt that you had to go, was it because of what you said to me, cos if it was then you're crazy, I would have forgiven you but the fact is that you rather say goodbye to everyone else but me...I thought we were meant to be friends..."

"We are friends and yes I was a coward for running away when I should have stayed to work things out but I didn't like the fact of knowing that I hurt you everytime I saw you" Sara trailed off

"Honey...you know I would have forgiven you...well eventually" I smiled, "but I don't understand why you couldn't say goodbye to me? I was your colleague for 7 years, got shot for you...i did think all that didn't matter to you" a lone tear fell down my cheek, she brushed it away with her thumb and held my face in her hands.

"You must never think that...never. I didn't say goodbye because it was too fucking hard to say that to someone who you're in love with and might never see again, You have no idea how hard it was for me all those years loving someone who might or might not love you back. When that bastard took you and hurt you, I knew right there and then that I had to say something but you were unconscious and that time I was at your house... I just had to kiss you but then I just got scared of being rejected..."

"I heard you and I do know how you felt"

"What?"

"I was in love with you from you first joined us, I denied my feelings all those years and I've started seeing you in a different light after Eddie died and despite the hard time I gave you, you still came over to see Lindsey, you're such an amazing person and when I got shot, I couldn't believe it when you said those three words I've been waiting to hear..."

"My god Cath...we've wasted all this time..." We laughed and put our foreheads together. My fingers running her soft silky hair, her hands resting on the small of my back. "Are you staying here tonight?"

"Looks like I have to, didn't book a room...but I will stay on one condition"

"And what would that be"

"Come back with me to Las Vegas...Everyone, especially Greg is really missing you" I pouted, she giggled.

"Yes, of course I'll come back with you..." She flashed her _'smile'_

"I love you" I kissed her softly

"I love you too, now get your ass in that bedroom..."

_**Life with Sara is certainly going to be interesting!**_

_**

* * *

A/N: Hey Guys, this is the final chapter but will be working on a sequel soon :o) please leave me a review and 'll get back to you by PM :o) Ta

* * *

**_


End file.
